It’s been a while since my last Pulp Conversations post. Blame Summer hols!
In June, I had the pleasure of speaking with Alex about childhood, belonging and identity. The exchange we had about belonging (shared above) is in sync with how I tend to see the world; specifically the frame that we can (and perhaps should endeavor to) belong to multiple places in parallel.
For Alex; a sense of belonging is not tied to a single location, but rather is expansive and inclusive. It’s about connection, experience, and choice. She illustrates that it’s possible to feel at home in several places, to carry pieces of each with you, and to allow them to coexist within your identity.
Identity is Fluid
Belonging is not fixed; it can shift and expand as you move through life. Perhaps if you can’t easily perceive a shift could it be that you are not challenging yourself? Not judging but a genuine question we should keep asking ourselves, no?
Places become part of us through our memories.
Sights.
Smells.
And most importantly: emotional connections.
We can choose to maintain ties to places that matter to us
One of my dear friends used to support the Phillies when he was a wee lad just outside of Philadelphia. Then he moved to New York and started supporting the Yankees, before finally landing in Los Angeles - and you guessed it becoming a Dodgers fan.
Unlike my friend … multiple places can coexist in your sense of self, enhancing rather than diluting your identity - something dual-citizens or kids of mixed parentage know all too well.
Here’s an exercise for you
List all the places you’ve lived, visited, or felt deeply connected to.
For each, note what makes it meaningful: people, experiences, sensory memories, values, or lessons learned.
Look for patterns: What qualities or feelings do these places evoke? (e.g., warmth, adventure, community)
How have these places shaped your beliefs, behaviors, or worldview?
Do you notice any internal or external pressure to choose one place over another.
Reframe belonging as “both/and” or “all/and”—allowing for multiple affiliations.
Rituals of Connectors
For you advanced readers who already practice multi-belonging - how did you develop small rituals to maintain your ties?
Was it through regular visits, cultural practices or making an effort to talk or visit with friends from those places?
When introducing yourself to others, do you use language that reflects your multi-place identity: “I belong to several places,” or “I carry pieces of X and Y with me.”
Please let me know what you do!
