Relationships …
are not some mystical, sacred things floating above the messiness of daily life. They are the sum of transactions, for better or worse. You can use the word interactions if it makes your conscience feel better. You don’t get a relationship just because you slap a label on it. You earn it, reinforce it, or destroy it, one transaction at a time.
Even the most pure relationship: mother and child; it doesn’t just exist because of biology. It’s built on a series of choices and actions.
Did the mom take care of herself pre-peri-post pregnancy?
Did she get support?
Did both parents bring their best to the table, both before and after the child was born?
Every relationship is the sum total of these micro-transactions.
The quality and reciprocity of those transactions determines whether the relationship thrives or falls apart.
If relationships were all that mattered, how do you explain families that fall out?
The title parent or child means nothing more than its literal definition if the transactions are toxic or absent.
Every time you deal with someone, you’re making a deposit or a withdrawal in the relationship bank.
What do you actually deserve …
… from a relationship, if you yourself are transactionally deficient?
“I’m doing my best” is a moving target.
Who defines “best,” anyway?
Maybe it’s just “better than I was yesterday.”
That’s legit, as long as you can justify it to yourself.
But if you’re just coasting, copying others, or running on auto-pilot, you’re not acting with intention.
And if you’re not intentional, you’re not adding value to yourself or anyone else.
So, what’s eating up
your bandwidth? What are
your priorities? If you want better relationships,
your resource allocation needs to change.Time
Energy
Attention
Towards
your interactions that matter. Your. Your. Your. Your.
And yea, matter means matter to you, but if you want any relationship to be mutually reinforcing, you have to add value to the other side, too.
Challenge:
Pick a relationship: one that’s faded, or one that’s just coasting … and approach it with an intentional mindset. Add value. See what happens.
A little over a year ago I was in bondage,
and now I'm back out here reaping the blessings and getting the benefits that go along with it, everything that's out here for kings like us.
The reason why we like this, this jewelry and this diamonds and stuff,
they don't understand is, because we really from Africa,
and that's where all this stuff come from.
And we originated from kings, you know what I'm saying?
So don't look down on the youngsters because they wanna have shiny things.
It's in our genes, know what I'm saying?
We just don't all know our history, so—"
Pimp C
Fuck with me, you know I got it
Fuck with me, you know I got it
Sexy bitch I hope she 'bout it
Come fuck with me, you know I got it
Jay-Z
