Love is not an emotion. It is a dynamic that requires agents and arenas.
Our sense of self is calibrated by the devotion of others. If nobody dotes on or devotes themselves to us … do we even exist?
Over the last month I’ve been building a “Chat DNA” tool to gain relational insights from a few threads to which I’ve been devoting energy. My goal is to double-down on healthy relationships and pull back from draining ones.
I’m calling it Talk To You Soon and you can sign up here to be a founding customer. After the beta period it will cost $10 / month. I would love your feedback on what might be useful for you to analyze in your own chats.
What motivated me to do this?
I believe we internalize other peoples’ attention on ourselves - often without realizing how much of ourselves we give away.
Neglect, busyness, reprioritization of needs can also take away from our sense of self.
When we don’t receive attention it doesn’t necessarily mean other people are unloving, self-centered or cruel.
Our friends are human themselves and they unconsciously expect other people to wait for them as they absorb and process their own pain.
Time waits for no man.
-St. Marher
We all want to be deeply known by someone else - perhaps ideally by many. Most of us are not equally inclined to give ourselves as much as we take for ourselves.
Sometimes we meet devotees at the wrong time or place.
Devotion is not always customer focused.
Music: I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)
